White People Music

"There are 10 songs that every white person goes crazy after hearing." - some minority or disgruntled white person

I understand that blanket statements and stereotypes are bad things, but as a social observation, these 10 songs really do exist. Whether heard at a house party, lawn party, college bar, karaoke bar, hole in the wall bar, off computer speakers, off the radio, or pretty much anywhere, once heard, the following series of events will take place.

1. Stand Up.

2. Bob Head up and down. If it's a girl, maybe also side to side to maximize hair waving around.

3. Hand goes from a state of relaxation to a state of





4. Sing-a-long to chorus of song. If you don't know the words, shame on you, but they are easily picked up by at least the second time the chorus comes around. If you still don't know the words, you have probably drank too much. Even if you did drink too much, the emotional ties that these songs invoke usually outweigh any drunkenness.

5. Group up with people who also disproportionately like said song, and engage in steps one through four with this group.

6. Collectively clamor for one of the other 9 songs to play next.

7. Realize that it's time to leave and go home because either A) they have played at least half of the 10 songs and you'd like to be able to talk tomorrow B) they have already started playing either Hanson's "MmmBop" or the Backstreet Boys' "I Want it That Way."

PS: Throughout steps one through seven the word "sweet" will be overly abused to the point of obnoxiousness.

So..................... I guess it's finally time to make a list of these 10 songs. There may be disagreement, but basically the minorities of this world have come to a general consensus around these songs. This is not scientific. But don't lie, these songs make you want to throw up your rock on sign, yell "sweet song!" and wish you were at the bar on a Thursday night drinking well drinks and cheap beer.

10. Don McLean- American Pie

9. Garth Brooks - Friends in Low Places

8. Guns N' Roses - Paradise City

7. Madonna - Like a Prayer

6. Aerosmith - Dude (looks like a lady)

5. Journey - Don't Stop Believing

4. Eddie Money - Take Me Home Tonight

3. Bon Jovi - Living On A Prayer

2. Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar On Me

1. Neil Diamond - Sweet Caroline

I was contemplating whether or not I should put the chorus for each of these songs up as well, but I realized that people are almost born with the lyrics of these songs. Right after walking, swallowing whole foods, and talking. "SWEET CAROLINE OH! OH! OH! SO GOOD! SO GOOD!" is not really that far behind.

The list is ordered in the order I personally feel that they are usually played. Does it make it scientific? Not really. Do white people go crazy when they hear these songs? Usually. Also I understand some of the people who enjoy this music, may think to yourself, "OMG, how could he forget song X or song Y." I acknowledge that this is a valid question and may present a problem. I also acknowledge that white people are not confined to only 10 songs. There is an extended list of songs and this list can probably go on and on. But you know which songs fit on this list when you hear them.

If you'd like to disregard this theory, feel free. But the next time you're in a group of white people at a place where they play white people music, all I ask you to do is take a step back to watch, enjoy, laugh, and maybe even partake in the craziness that is white people music.

That is all. And I love white people.

-y