The Simple Life

While riding on the Chinatown Bus back to New York from Washington D.C. I was reading the Washington Post, supposedly one of the better papers out there in terms of journalism, quality and all around good newspaper stuff and passing the time. (The Chinatown Bus system is a discussion that I will have to make another time, but to sum it up, it's both embarrassingly cheap and embarrassingly crappy.) So after about an hour of reading and skimming through various human interest stories, I finally got to the comics section.

Now there are a few things that I expect from the comics section and that no comic section should be without:

1). Comics
2). A Crossword Puzzle

So what was there? Comics? Check. Crossword Puzzle? Not so much. What was there instead? A Sudoku Puzzle.

Now I understand that crossword puzzles have a degree of difficulty to them and most people do not remember the last time they finished an entire puzzle. I am among one of those people. But is it really necessary to replace crossword puzzles in newspapers with sudoku puzzles? Yes, sudoku puzzles also require thinking and a certain level of logic. They have their own merit too. It is ridiculous however, to choose to insert a sudoku puzzle into the paper over a crossword puzzle because crossword puzzles are too hard, and sudoku puzzles are for everyone. If newspapers want to remove an ad for Lasik surgery and instead insert both a crossword puzzle and sudoku puzzle into their paper, that is fine. If they want to insert one, I'm asking them to insert crossword puzzles. I am really tired of seeing them remove the challenging late in the week crossword puzzles with easy and very easy sudokus that people can finish in less than five minutes. We need to think people.

Has it gotten to the point where as a society where we are so afraid of failure and so put off by not being able to complete things that we have started, that our lives must be filled with easy sudokus? I'm pretty sure there are a lot of people who do not want their coffee watered down, do not want their Simpsons episodes to only consist of slapstick, and do not want to only do easy sudokus with more than half the numbers already in the 9x9 grid among other things. You don't have to simplify everything or over complicate anything. Just please leave crossword puzzles alone.

-y

Barack Obama and Apple

After Barack Obama's keynote speech at the Democratic National Convention in 2004, Barack became something of a big deal. He has Become the embodiment of "audacity and hope" and has become a political rock star. He has since declared his intention to run for President and is currently in the midst of his campaign.


Apple computer has also had a very similar astronomical rise over the same course of time with their iphone, ipod, imacs, and a whole bunch of other things. Steve Jobs is the "cool" CEO with the "cool ideas" and is innovating the way technology and the future.


The problem with both Barack's and Apple's rise to the top however, is that a large percentage of both of their popularity is derived from the college aged generation. And in the case of both Barack and Apple; are they really at the top? Hilary is ahead and the polls and Microsoft sells 19 computers to every one that Apple sells.

If you were to walk through a dorm room, or college library and were to look around to see what type of laptops the students are using, you will most likely see the white or black Apple Macs being used by at least half if not more of the students. Apple has a 5.6% market share of laptop computers. But, you would never know this if you only looked at college aged students.

This is the same phenomenon that Barack Obama is a part of. Although he may register with many outside of the college crowd, his popularity is overrepresented by those in the college crowd. He has the most Facebook friends. His books are decorations for many college aged kids. If Facebook friends led to electoral victories, then surely Barack is going to win. But reality is reality and the college crowd's perception of Barack's popularity does not necessarily extend to the general publics' perception. Much like Apple laptops.

What is encouraging if you're a Barack Obama supporter is that things that are flashy and cool, like the iphone or Obama, are able to draw huge crowds. People want to see what everybody else is talking about. You have a great platform, and if the product is as advertised it will be well received. Whether it is the best choice or not, it sure gets a lot of attention. If Barack is to do well, he has to be more ipod and less iphone. In the case of the ipod this means actually be the best solution for music playback, or in Barack's case, the best presidential candidate . Hopefully Barack is not relegated an iphone, a cool accessory that has a lot of flashy features that falls up short of its hype and is the 6th generation ipod.

-y

White People Music

"There are 10 songs that every white person goes crazy after hearing." - some minority or disgruntled white person

I understand that blanket statements and stereotypes are bad things, but as a social observation, these 10 songs really do exist. Whether heard at a house party, lawn party, college bar, karaoke bar, hole in the wall bar, off computer speakers, off the radio, or pretty much anywhere, once heard, the following series of events will take place.

1. Stand Up.

2. Bob Head up and down. If it's a girl, maybe also side to side to maximize hair waving around.

3. Hand goes from a state of relaxation to a state of





4. Sing-a-long to chorus of song. If you don't know the words, shame on you, but they are easily picked up by at least the second time the chorus comes around. If you still don't know the words, you have probably drank too much. Even if you did drink too much, the emotional ties that these songs invoke usually outweigh any drunkenness.

5. Group up with people who also disproportionately like said song, and engage in steps one through four with this group.

6. Collectively clamor for one of the other 9 songs to play next.

7. Realize that it's time to leave and go home because either A) they have played at least half of the 10 songs and you'd like to be able to talk tomorrow B) they have already started playing either Hanson's "MmmBop" or the Backstreet Boys' "I Want it That Way."

PS: Throughout steps one through seven the word "sweet" will be overly abused to the point of obnoxiousness.

So..................... I guess it's finally time to make a list of these 10 songs. There may be disagreement, but basically the minorities of this world have come to a general consensus around these songs. This is not scientific. But don't lie, these songs make you want to throw up your rock on sign, yell "sweet song!" and wish you were at the bar on a Thursday night drinking well drinks and cheap beer.

10. Don McLean- American Pie

9. Garth Brooks - Friends in Low Places

8. Guns N' Roses - Paradise City

7. Madonna - Like a Prayer

6. Aerosmith - Dude (looks like a lady)

5. Journey - Don't Stop Believing

4. Eddie Money - Take Me Home Tonight

3. Bon Jovi - Living On A Prayer

2. Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar On Me

1. Neil Diamond - Sweet Caroline

I was contemplating whether or not I should put the chorus for each of these songs up as well, but I realized that people are almost born with the lyrics of these songs. Right after walking, swallowing whole foods, and talking. "SWEET CAROLINE OH! OH! OH! SO GOOD! SO GOOD!" is not really that far behind.

The list is ordered in the order I personally feel that they are usually played. Does it make it scientific? Not really. Do white people go crazy when they hear these songs? Usually. Also I understand some of the people who enjoy this music, may think to yourself, "OMG, how could he forget song X or song Y." I acknowledge that this is a valid question and may present a problem. I also acknowledge that white people are not confined to only 10 songs. There is an extended list of songs and this list can probably go on and on. But you know which songs fit on this list when you hear them.

If you'd like to disregard this theory, feel free. But the next time you're in a group of white people at a place where they play white people music, all I ask you to do is take a step back to watch, enjoy, laugh, and maybe even partake in the craziness that is white people music.

That is all. And I love white people.

-y

Hip Hop is Dead

My favorite musician of all time, Nasir Jones aka "Nas", titled his latest album "Hip Hop is Dead". The album goes on to criticize how Hip Hop is on the cusp of extinction because there are one too many MIMS, DJ Unks, and Dem Franchise Boys out there. As catchy as all their music is and how it makes people want to dance, music is supposed to have some substance. Not necessarily a lot, just some.







Why you may ask why I am bringing up an album that was released around half a year ago? The answer is quite simple: T FREAKING PAIN. If you listen to any radio station it is pretty hard to avoid "Buy You a Drank," featuring none other than DJ Unk from "Walk it Out Fame." If we're going to declare hip hop dead, why is nobody calling for the death of R&B. Rhythm and Blues. T Pain cannot sing. He has hit singles. Let me tell you why I am hating. He spells drink as "drank" so that his line can rhyme with bank. This bothers me immensely because both the word drink and the word bank can be rhymed with a gazillion other words. If he was trying to rhyme a word that was multi syllabic, maybe I would be ok with it. A machine sings all his lyrics. Machines lack Rhythm and cannot feel the Blues. There is an essential disconnect somewhere there. R&B may also soon be dead.

That is all.

-y